I won't leave you again
by Alexandra Udinov
Summary: My version of how Nikita finds out about Alex's drug use. What should have happened


So what if Michael had not been able to speak with Alex about the drugs before Nikita called. So there is a picture but not the one with Michael holding the drugs in Alex's hands.

* * *

Nikita stared at Michael. Who was stuttering over his words about the picture of him and Alex. Nikita did not question his love for her but knew he was hiding something. " Michael, what are you not telling me?" She asked knowingly. Michael suddenly found the floor very interesting he had not gotten a chance to confront Alex before they were called in . " Nikita its noth..." A new voice made them both jump. " Michael...stop" It was Alex. Michael looked up at her, she looked almost sick. " Michael, give us a sec will you please" She asked softy. He nodded and as he left he put a hand on her shoulder. " Your making the right choice" he said. Alex looked up at her mentor, friend, and mother figure. " Alex whats going on," Nikita asked sharply. Alex walked over to one of the chairs in the room. She felt sweat collect on her palms, her legs were weak. Nikita turned so she was facing Alex. She stood with her hands on her hips, and a frown etched on her angular face. When Alex looked up she swallowed thickly, she felt the ground blur. A few years ago she would have fainted, but not after going through Division. She forced her self to focus and dragged her eyes up to meet Nikita's . Nikita's eyes were guarded and demanding. Within seconds Alex felt her heart constrict, as if the amount of force behind Nikita's eyes was taking a mental and physical toll on her. Yet she held her gaze not wanting to beg for the forgiveness she so desperately wanted. Nikita's harsh gaze faltered, there was pain behind Alex's blue eyes. Physical and mental pain. She searched through them trying to get to the girl, then it was there, A haunted look, a dark and scared look. And all at once Nikita's heart shattered. Alex saw the change in Nikita's eyes and her facial features, she knew. Her body could no longer take the stress, her vision blurred and her knees gave way in relief. The floor came rushing to her. Strong arms caught her, Nikita had lunged forward and slipped her arms under Alex. With ease she lifted the frail girl up and carried her down the empty hall to the girls room. She laid Alex down gently on the bed, and slipped in beside her letting the girl rest her head on her shoulder. She wrapped her arm around Alex protectively her other hand ran through Alex's hair. "Alex what happened?" Her voice was soft and gentle full of concern. She swallowed thickly guilt clouding her mind as Alex buried her face in the crook of Nikita's neck. " Alex, please, you got to talk to me...Alex this is all my fault if I had payed more attention to you, not ignored you.." She trailed off as the first tear rolled down her cheek. " Nikita it had nothing to do with you, It happened after I got shot" She paused, she had not told anyone about Sean leaving her yet. She had not said it out loud yet either. " Right after the attack on medical, Sean was.." She stopped her voice breaking. She had not said his name out loud since the ware house. And suddenly she could not hold back anymore, her body gave a shudder and she started sobbing. Nikita's arms tightened, she said nothing yet. " Nikita I couldn't do it, he did not even give me time to think, it just happened and...an...and he left." She was so upset she switched to Russian. "Он оставил, он оставил меня Никита. Никита мне так жаль, я был настолько потеряли и больно и я уже был в медицинских и мое плечо начали больно. Я настолько огорченн пожалуйста, прости меня пожалуйста" (He left, he left me Nikita. Nikita I'm so sorry, I was so lost and hurt and I was already in medical and my shoulder started hurting. I'm so sorry please forgive me please) She sobbed. Nikita pulled Alex closer to her and felt the brunet wrap her body around her in a desperate attempt to be close to some one. Nikita felt tears of her own fall down her face. " shhh, shhhhh its okay I've got you, shhhh. Alex I am so sorry, shhhh baby girl its okay. I am here now. We will get through this together, shhhhhh" Nikita soothed until the girl started to drift off. Just as she did Nikita whispered " I love you baby girl, I will be here when you wake up. I promise" Nikita felt Alex's breathing slow and her body relax a bit. Nikita ran her fingers through Alex's hair softly, humming a Russian lullaby and soon she drifted off as well. Michael cracked open Alex's door and the sight he saw warmed his heart. Nikita and Alex lay sleeping, his fiancé's arms were wrapped protectively around Alex's small body. Alex's body was curled up into Nikita's body and her hands were fisted in her shirt. Her head was nestled in the crook of Nikita's neck. He smiled and closed the door happy that they were re connected and getting the first undisturbed sleep in months. As he left a smile crept onto Nikita's lips, she pressed them to Alex's forehead. She closed her eyes and fell back to sleep.


End file.
